“Don’t fear being alone, your life story doesn’t require a co-author.” (p.311)
This quote became a mantra for me for some time after my divorce. After being married for 20 years, I didn’t want to look at my life from this perspective, but it was time and I didn’t have another choice. I was afraid to be alone, but the fear that loomed larger than that, were my thoughts about the judgment I would face. I was ashamed of my failure and the way I thought other people would view me and my story. That mindset was what left me feeling trapped and without the ability to set proper boundaries to create a healthy relationship. My story is one of many, and what I have come to realize is that even in relationships with others, our story and how we tell it is up to us. Since this time I have learned that the people I want in my life don’t judge, they listen and give me a chance to be myself...and I offer the same thing in return. The right people fall into place around that. Challenges in life come and ask us to take an introspective look at ourselves. I believe the bravest thing we can do at these intersections is be bigger than our fear and answer the hard questions about what we want and how we can get there on our own, and let the connections that happen on that path be the icing on the cake. Relationships are integral parts of our lives, but none of them should be stronger than the one we have with ourselves.
Daily Action: Take a walk by yourself today. Think about what you want independent of anyone else. If it’s truly your purpose, you will find a way to make it happen.
Daily Reframe: Judgment is natural. When we work on the connection with ourselves everyday, we become strong enough to trust our own judgment over anyone else’s.