March 19, 2023
I don’t remember the exact date, but it was a Friday afternoon in 2014. Clear blue skies, volleyball practice had been canceled for some reason I can’t remember, and our family was on the beach. There were four kids running around in the sand with nowhere else to be. I remember thinking that life didn’t get better than this. Simple is good and noticing that is even better.
Within two years, everything about those kinds of moments changed. Nearly 20 years of a relationship crumbled and left me digging deeper to figure out why. Disconnection, not just between two people, or even within a nuclear family…disconnection that goes back generations, to times when we thought toughing it out and keeping a stiff upper lip was the way to survive. I wasn’t around then, and toughness and grit to get through hard things definitely serve a purpose, but the disconnection that takes place over time because we turn away instead of looking within severs the root of our families.
Generational healing may sound heavy or complicated but what I’ve found is that it’s about finding our way back to a simple feeling, like that one I had on the beach. It's a work in progress, not a destination...but figuring things out for ourselves about why we are the way we are, and the kind of ripple effect we are capable of can feel really good. Our ability to connect with ourselves and not wiggle out of it or turn away when the things we encounter get uncomfortable, or distract ourselves with outside noise from the things that matter most. Our ability to be present, sit quietly, and take in our own thoughts, hopes and dreams and connect them with our goals and plans for our lives.
Only when we restore connection with ourselves can we peel back the layers and make peace with past traumas in our family lines.
In this unfolding and unlearning of the old ways that we thought were keeping us safe, we start to understand our inherent worth, strength, and the agency we have in our lives. We begin to love ourselves more, criticize ourselves less, and form interdependent rather than codependent relationships that create families and communities where everyone is able to work from their strengths. We stop minimizing each other, talking about what could go wrong and start looking how to make things right. Right isn’t perfect, it’s just a little bit better and more connected every day. No shame in the mistakes, just opportunities to learn and help each other navigate things more smoothly the next time.
What happens if we turn away from healing?
I’ve heard it said that addiction is the opposite of connection. Addiction will always push away love and, according to Native American wisdom, makes its mark for seven generations to come. It leaves fractured homes and dinner tables, violates safety and dignity, and creates disparity in any home it lives. Eventually, whether that home splits apart or stays together, without connection, the home is broken and the patterns that come from that create paths that destroy our health and relationships. This pain is expressed on every level from deep within the cells in our bodies and dysregulated nervous systems. If left unresolved, it cycles over and over again, cutting its path over generations of families that no matter how much they love each other, they still cause each other too much pain.
At this point, if you know me, and have been listening to my thoughts for a while, you are looking for the good news. Where is the optimism and opportunity? The answer to that lies in the agency that is within every single human to persevere, to look at themselves and see what’s working and what could be different to be better. I have always believed it was there for anyone, and now the stories that are flowing through my podcast are bringing the living, breathing, examples of human resilience that reinforce my belief that healing is always possible.
How does it happen? It happens when we stop talking about other people and start talking to ourselves. It happens when we start to understand and practice the tools that connect us with our physical, mental and spiritual being. There are no silver bullets, no biohacks, but there can be a graceful pattern of trial and error while we discover what works for us. Sometimes it takes ignoring what other people think and discovering what works for you. It’s a journey of reconnection through unlearning the habits of control and survival. Then we discover how to be present in our bodies and minds and know that when we let go of the expectation of what ‘should’ be, we become grounded and calm knowing that through whatever will be, we will be ok. And from this new calm we find grounded energy that flows.
What are these tools that help us connect? Yoga, breath work, prayer, meditation, journaling, whole foods, daily movement, music, animals, nature, grounding, talk therapy, physical therapy, chiropractic care, energy healing, acupuncture, social interaction, alone time, hydration, supplementation, fasting…the list goes on. I’m sure you could add some of your own. I don’t list all of these things to overwhelm you, but find hope that there are so many little acts to love ourselves that help connect us to our true selves. Figuring out your personal alchemy is fun, and it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
Generational learning is what we are after here at Be Better Media where one of my goals is to begin to reverse engineer the process of the generational healing we need by creating space for people to be heard and connect with their purpose. Gigantic visions are made up of little consistent steps everyday, but you don’t have to take them all by yourself. Come find me on What I Meant to Say to hear stories of other people committed to being better one day at a time. These conversations have created more moments in the sun for me and helped create more opportunities for health, healing and ability to go with the flow in life by learning more about the human experience and what we are capable of. Keep following along…better is coming with the connections we make with each other everyday.
Happy 21st Birthday Luke, thank you for teaching me how to stress less and love more. So proud of you everyday.
With optimism,
Wendy
I usually don’t have the title of a blog when I sit down to write, generally speaking it comes last. But I have leaned into something new that has given me so much peace in the hardest moments of transition that I knew it was time to write about it. I’ve been working with Emily Hightower, a beautiful mentor who helps so many with her deep knowledge of the intersection of biology and psychology. To have time with her each week to process and apply what I have known intuitively forever has been a gift. Just like every athlete has a coach that says something in a way that instantly changes their process, Emily had a zinger for me a few weeks back:
“It’s about alchemy, not strategy.” she said.
Instantly I knew what she meant, and I connected with the truth that strategy is exhausting. When I fall into it, It doesn’t take too long until inspiration and energy feel tapped out.
Do you know what alchemy is? According to Webster it’s a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation or combination. But I have a new definition.
Alchemy is what happens when we lean in and trust our mind, body, and spirit and all the energy around us to support us in a process of growth and change…which life always seems to have in store for us in one way or another.
Whether it’s a graduation, new job, new team, beginning or ending of a relationship or launching a new venture, we can often get stuck thinking there is just a technical strategy to get from Point A to Point B. When we become aware of our own special alchemy though, we develop what works uniquely for us in the midst of all the data and universal truth out there. Alchemy is freeing and never forced and gives you the energy and ability to trust in transition. It’s what I depend on to create stories and coach others along the journey too.
It’s a time of year that always reminds me that change is the only constant. Somehow that should make me feel better at this point, but change is hard. As human beings we crave what we know, we will even repeat patterns that aren’t healthy because we haven’t learned to work with the alchemy of change.
Here are some of the ways we can honor alchemy over strategy:
Embrace what Is and look for the beauty. I encounter things on my path everyday that remind me of what I want in the future and things that feel different than how I thought I wanted them to feel. But finding gratitude for what is always brings me back to the infinite possibility of change and gives me the energy to work for it.
Work with your limbic brain. This is the most primal part of our brain that functions to keep us safe at all costs. If this part of our brain hasn’t learned to feel safe, our executive functioning logical brain will not be able to convince our body and spirit of anything. To work with this part of your brain, try using the pronoun you with any affirmations you use. YOU will finish this project. YOU will make the team. YOU are loved. YOU is the specific pronoun that speaks to this part of your brain, try it. It’s worked wonders for me and I think you will feel something release deep inside of you that unleashes a calm through any change or challenge you experience.
Work with your biology. There are so many active recovery strategies that I highlight in my High Performance Zen Course that you can engage with to promote cellular change in your body that your mind and spirit will begin to embrace. Through breathwork, cold plunges, yoga, meditation and sound healing, I have used each of these to develop my own healing alchemy through so much traumatic change. Whether the transition to single life and parenting or the ankle reconstruction I have been healing through since February, each of these processes that helped me create peace, self awareness and forward progress instead of giving in to self doubt in uncharted territory.
Try Reiki - Working with the energy in your body and the universe, reiki is able to stimulate the natural healing process to promote deeper health and healing. I would love to show you how. It’s calming, safe and gentle and you will love it. It’s safe for athletes, kids, I even use it on my animals and brings deep calm and connection to your mind, body and spirit.
What I know at this point is that life is one long transition. It’s going to bring you things that are greater than you ever expected and deliver blows that knock you off your feet. But trust in the alchemy that will bring peace to the process and help you BE BETTER with each passing day. Feel into it this weekend and enjoy it. Rest in the knowledge that what you need to succeed is within you and keep your eyes and heart open to what will add to your process. We are bringing it to you at BE BETTER. Come join us on this journey, and add your alchemy to this amazing process.
With Love & Optimism,
Wendy
Check out this awesome flow mix that I love to write to. Music is always part of my alchemy:)
As we inched our way into the gym last weekend, past vaccination checks and metal detectors, to watch Stanford Men’s Volleyball in their second preseason tournament since the program was reinstated last May, it was glaringly apparent to me how much our world has changed. If you would have told any of us two years ago that to move through the world to connect with others, enjoy art, listen to music, or watch sports, would require mandatory testing, shots, and face masks, or that people would lose their jobs because they chose not to take a shot to reduce to the risk of contracting a deadly virus, most American’s would have thought you were reading from the pages of a dystopian novel.
And yet here we are. There is a political firestorm around all of these topics every time we open a newspaper, turn on the TV, or listen to current events podcast, and the debates loom large. Instead of framing things in terms of political power, I look at these issues from a mindset perspective. Fear and scarcity are low vibrations that turn people against each other and fail to inspire cooperation in communities. An abundance mindset inspires people to come together and perform at their best for the good of themselves and the whole. One of my favorite stories from corporate America comes from Delta Airlines. They didn’t mandate, but rather encouraged, their employees to get the shot, and an amazing 95% of the employees did so. Americans on average are a caring, compassionate bunch who believe in taking care of their neighbors. We like pitching in and being part of something bigger than ourselves. But a vortex of fear takes hold every time we turn on the news and, while it’s important for us to listen and learn from to the stories of others, it’s also critical to our health that we don’t live a fear based existence trying to ward off one of the millions of risks that are inherent to a life well lived. As a parent, I am much more afraid every time I watch Matthew grab his boogie board and walk down to the ocean without me than I am of any of us contracting and dying from this terrible virus. I let him go because it trains his independence and sharpens his life skills, and I breathe through it every single time.
Coming back to last Saturday, as Matthew, my friend Allison, and I inched through the line to get inside and watch the team, I could feel the loss of freedom to move through the world with the ease that we used to. Between terrorism and the pandemic, the simple freedoms that we have lost in the name of safety that were once second nature to us, and made it easier for us to care for ourselves are many. Gone are the days of bringing in a water bottle to hydrate yourself over the course of a day. Forget bringing a backpack, or even a purse, to hold the work that you could do should any down time happen, or to organize keys, glasses, the coffee mug that got you through the morning, or a book to educate yourself about whatever new topic you wanted to learn about that day. These situations feel stark, sterile and untrusting and create a lot of second guessing and stress…especially if you are a rule follower like me. As we continued up the stairs and away from the security line, you would have thought the mask mandate signs changed to “please have a mask securely tied around your wrist”. Regardless of what you believe about mask protection, it’s frustrating to jump through hoops for no real protection or gain, and realize that many of the situations we have to plan for these days are there for legal reasons more than the actual protection of human life.
COVID has been terrible for many, just as 9/11 was before that, but I miss being able to plan and choose how to move through the world, using empathy and compassion that has always been a part of my personality and genetic make up, without second guessing, or judgment. Our freedoms have been impacted in ways we never would have imagined and we intimately know what it feels like to live in fear of the unknown. Never has it been more clear that there is risk inherent in living and it will always vary from place to place and person to person, it’s the very essence of being mortal. There is no way to make that risk universal. As Americans we need to be able to make choices that fit our own risk profile. We can’t cover America in a warm blanket and avert it all. Life will always give us reason for caution, I’ve lived on the heavy side of caution my whole life. But a mindset of fear and scarcity will never serve human connection and potential, and yet it is there every time we venture out or turn on the news now. When we are fearful, our light in the world dims. We play small, take shortcuts, and even blame others in an attempt to feel safe. Then we start to doubt the positive effect our choices and life can have on the world, and instead of empowering ourselves and inspiring others, we look to be saved. The policy debate will make its way through the halls of Congress and the courts, but already today we know that fear will never create or produce what freedom will. There is no law that works better than transformation that happens from the inside out when we know how to connect with our own potential. What we need is an inoculation against fear based mentality so we can support each other and brave the risks of being human together.
Connection. It’s a word that lights up my whole being and guides the way I shape my days. It helps me capture such beautiful stories and teaches me everyday that we all have one, and we are actively telling them with every breath. Sports stories have inspired me for as long as I can remember. More than that, it’s the story behind the story…from Brian’s Song to Seabiscuit, the heroes journey wrapped up in the spirit of competition never fails to pull at my heart strings. From some of the greatest sports stories of all time to the ones that we will only know if we take the time to ask, and then sit back and listen, I connect the dots from person to person and universal truth to personal experience and through that learn so much about my own journey, and how to support other people on their path. Kindness, compassion, non judgment and inclusion…this is how we help people rise, have the courage to tell their own stories, and learn to be comfortable in their own skin.
I have so much gratitude for the magic and energy of a moment in time. I love when I get to see the arc of the story playing out, it happens when I stay present, don’t rush it, and just listen. When I’ve done that, I’ve learned to embrace the power of my own story and, as I connect it with the lives around me, my vision becomes clear. We all have this challenge and ability, and when we embrace it, we discover our greatness that doesn’t look like anyone else’s and learn that life is a collaboration, not a competition. Some would think that competitive sports would work against this mentality, but what if we could teach at the youngest ages how to combine fiery competitive natures with compassion, kindness, and inclusivity? What if iron could still sharpen iron while we support each other through life’s trials and tribulations. Those stories are the reason I came to New Orleans this week through the connections I have made with my blog with like minded people working to support young athletes in sport, but more importantly in life.
Since arriving in New Orleans on Monday for Louisiana Beach Week, I’ve had so many awesome conversations and heard so many stories that connect this amazing beach volleyball community. Culture shapes community and that’s why this one is so incredible. It’s so cool to see beach volleyball alive and well and growing at an exponential pace in places outside of California. I’ve heard stories from Mississippi, Tennessee, New York, and Florida to name a few… and even the Californians are venturing out of their usual sandbox to this place called Coconut Beach with its signature style of a little slower pace, more space, and where eye contact and a smile are a regular thing. To see the love of the game at every level, and people who come out with the intention of including everyone at every level who want to play and have fun together has completed my stress cycle in a way that makes me feel at ease and comfortable in my own skin. What a gift. This is how you grow the game.
Sports transcend culture and give us all something to root for no matter where we come from, what our beliefs may be, and remind us that there is always something to work and cheer for. The conversations and stories I have collected this week have shown me that intelligence and authenticity are not scared of the truth, they are curious about it. Stay tuned…The Optimists Journal is about to become part of a bigger venture, my new website is coming soon and the stories I have collected this week will all become a part of it. The mind, body, and spirit of beach volleyball is at the heart of how I live and breathe, and I want to bring it all to you. Stories of healthy athletes, parents & coaches communicating and growing the game but, most importantly, always striving to become better human beings. This is my vision and I’m seeing lived out this week in New Orleans.
With love & optimism,
Wendy
There is a new piece of art that hangs over the doorway in my living room. It’s a rustic wooden sign from @HarperGrayce that reads:
“Cultivate Calm”
It’s become my mantra to back up my life philosophy and I love the imagery it brings to my mind in just two words. From my deep valley roots, the word cultivate reminds me of deep rich soil that grows sustainable, high-quality things, and calm is the state I recognize as my gateway to peak performance. My new sign reinforces my life philosophy:
“To create calm and connection with every breath and movement.”
Understanding the value of deep calm in my life and home helps me channel it and take it out into the world. Zeroing in on your life philosophy is a fun, creative exercise that helps us drill down on what is truly unique and important to us. Once I realized that feeling of deep calm is where I feel most myself and perform at my best, I looked for more opportunities and techniques in my life to tap into it. Breath work, yoga, writing, mindfulness, and daily movement, are just a few of the ways that I have learned to help me find flow in my life, no matter what is going on around me.
For so many years, I didn’t know I was operating in a state of fight or flight, sympathetic dominant, always waiting for the shoe to drop. That wasn’t a place I could flourish, my body and mind were guarded most of the time, and I wasn’t able to capitalize on my own strengths. It impacted my performance on the court and in my life. Learning how to recognize my state and work with it has been a game changer (thanks @BrianMckenzie and @intrinsicway)! Although understanding myself on a deeper level has cultivated calm in my life, one of the greatest benefits has been being able to walk the walk and help other people understand what they are about by being real and sharing my own story. No one achieves anything great alone and the culture we surround ourselves with is an integral factor to the levels of success we will achieve.
When we know who we are, more and more we find ourselves in places that align with our interests and values, and the conversations and experiences just flow. For me these days, they almost seem to fall in my lap, and I feel the greatest sense of freedom to be myself. Alignment is a magical feeling.
As I chatted back and forth with another beach volleyball player the other day, the words that came to me were
“The forties are a decade of incredible power.”
Maybe that’s by design, it seems that we hit a place in our forties where if we are willing to dig in and understand the layers of ourselves, and what our life has created, we have an incredible ability to step into our uniqueness and power and create culture around us. I call it finding your ‘Type Be’. When we find it, we open up opportunities to create culture around us that points us toward what we should learn (and unlearn) in life. My passion lies in telling the stories that are universal in their struggle and unique in their experience to help people connect their lives with others. Whether it’s a team, a family, a community, or professional environment, when we are able to provide vulnerable leadership, we can inspire culture, and that is exactly what great coaches do.
This week, I reached out to a few mindful athletes and legendary coaches to get their take on building team culture and loved the synchronicity of what I got back from them, both with my own message and between theirs, because they play and coach for different programs. Here is what they had to say:
“The concept of team culture has so much depth. In the world of sports, sometimes winning or losing depends on the strength of your team culture, and the unity of the players. To me, no matter what “team” you’re on, whether it’s your work team, your family, or an actual sports team, one of the key ingredients to success is vulnerability. Having this trait opens the door to so many other things that make or break team culture, like the ability to have courage, trust, be honest, and be whole-hearted in what you do. Being vulnerable with teammates allows them to understand not just the surface of your being, but the deeper layers. And when everyone on the team can see this in each other, the culture comes naturally.” - Katie Kennedy - Long Beach State Beach Volleyball
“At Long Beach I think we have the best team culture. I say so only having been a part of the Long Beach culture, but Alan does such a good job in this aspect. I think it all starts with the coach, manager, and parents. Culture is a huge thing we talk about at Long Beach and that not one person is bigger than the team. We talk a lot about carrying our own luggage, which is carrying your weight, so you can then help people along the way. We always have each others backs and any sort of confrontation/accountability is all from love. Open communication is key.” - Mason Briggs, Long Beach State Mens Volleyball
“For me a strong team culture starts with empathy for others and an understanding of yourself, and that others will operate differently, and that’s ok. Once they can understand that they will see things differently and react differently under stress, they can give each other the space to be who they are, and help to fulfill each other’s needs through that understanding.” - Stein Metzger - Head Coach UCLA Beach Volleyball
All of these quotes reinforce my belief that our ability to lead and build strong team cultures happen when we soften our ego, genuinely root for each other, and compete to be the best version of ourselves. Healthy, interdependent team culture is rooted in a ‘we, not me’ mindset and the ability to hone our own unique skills whether we lead from the sidelines, are the star of the team, or anywhere in between. Each of these quotes remind me of the ripple effect we have on each other and the importance of surrounding ourselves with great people with tireless work ethic who know how to work and love at the same time. Our choices, actions, and most importantly, our ability to understand our deepest motivations, make us leaders that create deep calm in others and inspire confidence to compete without the need to be anything more than who we are in this moment. Work hard, stay present, and trust that the path will appear…even in my most difficult moments, this formula for deep calm hasn’t failed my team yet.
With love & optimism,
Wendy
Photo Credit: Anthony Moore @amoorephoto_
My song this week - piano and some great lyrics are tough to beat.
One of my favorite things is to wake up to an inspirational text from my friend Chrissy. She is an amazing writer and mom (check out her blog Life with Greyson + Parker) and when we met 10 years ago, we were trying to figure out the ins and outs of having kids on the autism spectrum, even though neither of us actually had diagnosis’s yet for our children. She is one of the best silver lining humans that I know, we are kindred spirit introverts that just get each other. As we went back and forth this morning, waxing philosophical even before we had had our coffee, our words pointed to what I was already writing about this week…our tendency as humans to compare ourselves to one another and the jealousy that it can create. I’ve learned over the last few years that there are so many ways to do life, and once we find the courage, it’s just easier to be ourselves, without apology, than think we need to copy anyone else’s journey.
For me that has meant connecting deeply to the world of sports…a place that has always been an outlet for my nervous energy but also one where I feared that I couldn’t hang. As a younger athlete, I lacked confidence and it became the thing that I most wanted to teach my kids, not just on the court, but in life, so they could find and pursue their passions, whatever those passions may be, and nothing makes me happier than to see them learn to lead doing what they love to do. We all need that place in life. As athletes my older two have had some of the highest highs, like achieving their dreams of playing at the Division 1 level, and also battled through lows like injuries (I think Lauren inherited my weak ankles) and heartbreak, (let’s get this reinstatement taken care of @gostanford), but above all have come through difficult circumstances on and off the court that shape their character and build their resilience in life in a way that makes me so proud. Through my parenting journey, I have seen how much the world of coaching and parenting intersect, and how comparing our lives to anyone else’s, diminishes our potential to make the impact we were meant to make on the world. Even saying you have the desire to make an impact is scary. It brings out the fear of failure and the dreadful feeling of imposter syndrome, that “who am I to" (fill in the blank).
As humans we have a tendency to compare and even be jealous of what other people seem to be or have in their lives when all that does is contract our own unique path. It’s got me thinking about the impact comparison and jealousy have on our happiness and performance, individually and as part of any team. Teams come in many forms…work, families, sports, clubs…anything that has an established culture that we are a part of, for better or for worse. This week I had the privilege to get the feedback from an masterful Championship winning volleyball coach and a 2016 Olympian on how they handle these concepts in their own lives, and on their own teams. I’m so grateful for these conversations and connections, here is what they had to say:
“Everyone on a team has to feel like they are an integral part of the team. People may have different roles on a team/organization, but each individual needs to feel appreciated, they add value to the central mass, and that they have freedom to fulfill their individual role. As the leader, I need to convey to the troops what is the environment that THEY would like to be part of. I then give verbal praise in front of the entire group whenever I see actions of the culture we want. Then almost a competition can develop of who can do the most “positive actions”, because generally people like to be praised! One of the first messages I will say after saying “hello” is that we are not going to have jealousy for one another. If I give praise to someone for positive actions, we are NOT going to talk negatively about the “doer of good deeds”. I ask for each team member to take a symbolic one step forward if they agree to not to be jealous of the doer. Then when I give the first positive comments to someone in front of the group, I will IMMEDIATELY joke and say to the group something like, “hey, we’re not mad at so and so are we?”. At the end of the practice, I ask for players to nominate one another as the “player of the practice” and the players have to be SPECIFIC why they are nominating a teammate (“Suzy reassured me after I mad an error”, “Sally’s servers were on and scored many points”, “Sam had that one incredible dig”. I make a point we want to honor physical plays AND selfless actions as well. This makes the less athletic kids know they can be honored by being selfless teammates. -Tommy Chaffins, Prep Volleyball Coach of Year, Max Preps Coach of Year, Daily Breeze 11x Coach of Year, Redondo Union High School Head Coach (and someone I have seen personally create culture where teenage girls learn to both support each other and compete!)
“I think jealousy is a good teacher. Usually when we feel bouts of jealousy they are signals that someone else has something we would like to have ourself. I think recognizing this before it becomes detrimental to yourself and/or your team is the number one key. Since feeling jealousy reveals those things we wish we could have, it can act as a gateway to walking the path to finding the best version of yourself as a player, teammate, athlete etc. If you feel feelings of jealousy because your teammate is starting and you aren’t, what actionable step can you take to improve your chances of seeing playing time more? Do you need to spend some more time getting extra repetitions at a specific skill? Do you need to spend more time in the weight room building foundational strength? This is just one example of how we can turn feelings of jealousy into positive actions. Another way to look at jealousy is through the scope of building your own internal confidence and high self-worth. Your feelings are ultimately in your control. When we are in an environment where jealousy is at the forefront it’s a signal that there is inner work yet to be done. There is never anything anyone is doing outside of us to make us feel jealous, those feelings are solely felt because of our own perspective of what is going on or what is being conveyed to us. Within a team we want to feel connected, and build trust and have a foundation of confidence from the coaching staff to the training staff to the players. Valuing one another and treating others with respect and full support is the main goal within a team. So those very fragile feelings of jealousy can easily be released if we focus the right kind of energy on them and take actionable steps to rid ourselves of them too. - Carli Lloyd, 2016 Olympian, Professional Indoor Volleyball Player, expecting mom, May 2021, writer of her blog, Show Up With Me - and someone who has the one of the greatest blends of compassion and competitiveness I have ever seen.
We find our purpose when we use our passion to create something unique to us that has an impact on something larger than ourselves. When we connect to our higher self on the most intimate level, our goals become so specific, there is no way to compare them.. Every week that I write, I get closer to making that impact that I want to make: to raise generational consciousness and teach life lessons through sports so we can make our greatest impact and develop deeper empathy for all of the stories of the human condition. My challenge to you this week is to get so clear on the impact that you want to make on this world that you can see who adds beautiful connection and collaboration to your life and that you you would never again dream to compare yourself to anyone else.
With love & optimism,
Wendy
Photo credit: Anthony Moore (@amoorephoto_)
Brenda Cash (@brendacashphotography) for the photo in my email if you get my blog updates there;)
And because there is always a song that comes to mind. when I write….
The signs and experiences have been there my whole life. Not in the boldest ways, but in ways that are unique to me…always there to teach me something. Sometimes I call myself a late bloomer because I reframed the phrase, slow learner. More often these days, I realize that I process life on a deep level and it takes me time. As I get older, I see that as a gift that helps me stay curious and learn about myself and other people and what makes us all tick, and I love writing about it. One of my cool conversations on the beach in the last few weeks with an engineer turned coach explained it as “root cause”, I’m always looking for the why behind the story.
Lately, scenes from my own story flash through my mind that I haven’t thought of in years. 1988, Kochi City, Japan, Friendship Games…my first ever international travel experience and it was to Japan to play volleyball. Traveling with a team at 14 without parents opened my timid eyes to the world and was the best experience. Randomly at the end of that trip, our team ran into Karch Kiraly at the Tokyo airport and as we all recognized him and went a little teenage girl crazy, he was gracious enough to stop and sign our tournament t-shirts and take pictures. I hadn’t thought of this story in years until I watched the beautiful play of Miki Ishi and Megumi Murakami on Thursday at 8th St. in Hermosa Beach. With all the turmoil in the world this past year, sports have been one of our greatest sources of unity.
I have always loved volleyball. I learned how much with every set back. A dive on the floor that tore my thumb ligament my senior year of high school and made me miss the whole season, my rubbery ankles that couldn’t take someone coming under the net and ended my walk on run at Cal Poly. There aren’t any championships marking my path, but each of these set backs taught me more about how much I love to play and how to take care of myself so I am able to impart these lessons to my life’s greatest work…Lauren, Luke, Kate, Matthew…as they learn to travel their own paths.
Since these early volleyball days, the challenges have run deeper. Healing from broken relationships, and near death parenting experiences have only deepened my perspective on the game of life, and the things I learned through sports have helped define my own comeback story. One thing is for certain, life will deliver adversity to our doorstep, and we have to figure out how we will respond. This week I’ve been thinking about the integral parts of what makes our comeback stories great and sets us on the unbeatable path of greater self awareness.
I was inspired to write about the comeback this week because of the struggles that I have watched my oldest two go through in this wild year we have all endured. Trust the process, surrender to what is, and believe that the path with presents itself. Let’s go @savestanfordmvb, we’ve got momentum, keep battling. @Lauren.turner21, couldn’t be more proud of your grind and incredible sense of self-awareness. Sometimes the fight doesn’t look like you thought it would, but if we follow our instincts and keep training our minds, bodies, and spirits, the comeback is always greater than the setback.
With love & optimism,
Wendy
Inspired by life and music - the choice this week.
Photo credit: @matts.photography_
