The world is back in full swing. Morning routines, schedules, pressure to perform according to the clock, the calendar, the grades, and the score, are mounting again. As unsettling as this pandemic down time has been, I always knew there was a part of me that would miss the slower pace, the kids being around and a closeness to the simple that I always find a way to appreciate. There wasn’t a day that I wasn’t grateful for the people in my life, the roof over my head, the gas in my car, or the food in my fridge. In such a crazy time fraught with so much uncertainty and sadness, there was peace in the simplicity that my soul craves. It’s the simple things that are the biggest blessings…everything else is icing on the cake. Now the morning is back to getting out the door, traffic, and the dog looking at me by 9 am like “where did everyone go?” while the cats rejoice that everyone has left.
Returning to the regular school year calendar has made me reflect on the milestones of the past years. Having four very different kids makes each journey of time different. Their interests, abilities, and habits all reflect their experiences in life and influence our relationships in ways that I learn from as each day passes. I was a gym mom for my first two, a place I felt most in my own element, even though they face so much more pressure at a young age with the levels they have propelled themselves to than I ever did, something I am in awe of one moment, and then wondering if it’s too much the next. The second two look so different, embracing theatre, surfing, and animals, but with the same work ethic and care for what they do and how they do it. I see the edges of perfectionism creeping in with all they have been through, wanting so much to live up, fill up, please, and experience life…and yet my desire to help them each create calm order in their lives and understand themselves and their gifts in a way that doesn’t need extra validation is my highest calling. No matter how different the activities look, the underlying current of what I want them to understand about life is the same.
We are all good at something, and discovering this is the key to knowing yourself on the deepest level. Keep searching and follow the threads, nothing is insignificant. No one needs to validate your vision except for you, but I’m right here anytime to talk you through it.
Learn to be alone with your thoughts and have the courage to explore them. It can feel lonely and even scary at times, but the ability to be alone is the foundation of what will make your future relationships flourish.
Have the courage to listen and seek intimacy with others. Despite how social media wants to train us, this life is not a show for others, it is a series of individual connections that add significance to our lives. Real connection with one human being will always be greater than a million likes.
Patience and persistence pay off, shortcuts are usually dead ends. There is so much pressure out there to perform to the world’s standard. You feel enormous pressure to get good grades, be the best on the team, and have people like you, but burnout is a real thing at a younger and younger age. Check in with yourself in those quiet moments and keep coming back to what you really want out of this life. Don’t feel afraid to ask for help if you are feeling stressed or alone. We all need it from time to time.
Forgive, it is always a lesson learned. It can change the relationship you have with another, but it will always teach you more about yourself and make your life fluid and lighter.
You can speak your mind without being the loudest one in the room…sometimes you can even do it without words. Body language, learning to carry yourself with confidence, head held high, owning your vibe and your values instead of going with the flow is what makes life over the long haul great.
Learn to express your emotions without them dictating your day and mood.
No one (except your mom) can love you more than you love yourself.
The cool thing about parenting is that the things I learn through teaching them I am still learning on deeper levels every day myself. They are my greatest gift and inspiration to keep getting better. No matter what else I seek to accomplish in this life, the sun rises and sets with the values, safety and love I am able to pass on to them.
With love & optimism,
I found this because I am slightly obsessed with John Mayer’s new album…but this is an old one;)