fbpx
LoginSHOPshop

Five Ways to Embrace Evolving Over Aging

I’ve been struggling on the volleyball court lately.  Losing more than I win, seeing things that my body isn’t quick enough to react to, letting my mind wander to different areas of my life outside the court and realizing (with the help of some of the awesome people I play with) how hard I am […]
By
Wendy Jones
January 23, 2021

I’ve been struggling on the volleyball court lately.  Losing more than I win, seeing things that my body isn’t quick enough to react to, letting my mind wander to different areas of my life outside the court and realizing (with the help of some of the awesome people I play with) how hard I am on myself. It’s crazy how long it has taken me to absorb this realization. I mean seriously, I’m in the sunshine in January with my feet in the sand and getting my movement in, does anything else really matter?  I’m 46 years old, and I’m finally recognizing this conditioning, to always expect more of myself, and then see how chasing that is something that zaps my energy instead of catalyzing it.  I know that I am not alone in this boat.  We all have our days, some of us more than others, that we are too hard on ourselves, expect more than we should, or set impossible standards instead of recognizing the good and then letting that grounding energy help bring amazing things to fruition in our lives.  So the reframe for me lately is this - evolving is way better than aging. Evolving is so exciting it puts a little flutter in my stomach that feels like attraction on the deepest level…like falling in love with yourself and the process you get to invent when you fully embrace your story. 

While I’m sure there are hundreds, maybe thousands of ways we can embrace our own evolution as we walk our paths, my meditations have been revealing things to me in fives. So here are five ways I have found to find flow and embrace evolution over aging. 

  1. Learn to recognize and work with your state - I have talked a lot about breath work and how to recognize the state of our nervous system. It is fundamental to understanding how we respond and perform in the world. Recognizing our state and learning how to operate and find balance between our sympathetic and parasympathetic response is huge. Having tools under our belts to respond when we are anxious and overwhelmed in sympathetic (fight or flight), or when we have dropped too deep into parasympathetic (rest & digest) state is key to maintaining our energy and to be able to learn and retain new information. This is true at any age, and I have learned so much by raising Matthew and watching him learn and come out of states of hyper vigilance to where he is open and trusting - and then he learns. He is no different than the rest of us and breath is the key. Next time you are feeling overwhelmed slow down and take a deep breath, in through your nose and then an extra long exhale to follow. Take a few if you need to and feel the reset wash over you. If you are feeling sluggish or even low grade depressed…which can look like procrastination or low to no motivation, try breath of fire, it will help bring you back into sympathetic balance.

  2. Value sharing knowledge as a collective experience, not a competition. For all of the difficult things the news cycle is trying its best to overwhelm us with, there is so much good energy and wisdom being spread out there. Podcasts, books, audio books…these are lights that shine through the darkness and perspectives we wouldn’t have taken in if we didn’t have the humility to listen. I’m always amazed at the like minds and cool conversations that cross my path when my I share my interests about growth mindset and generational wisdom and health and wellness. Like attracts like, and as I continue to learn and share daily with these connections, without any feeling of comparison or judgement, it feels light and beautiful. We don’t have to have it all mapped out, we only need to have the awareness to acknowledge the next step and let our interests guide our way.

  3. Shift from a scarcity to an abundance mindset. I know that I lived a long time making decisions for what I didn’t want to happen. I didn’t want to fail, I didn’t want to feel sad, I didn’t want to be judged by others. But living for what we don’t want pales in comparison to creating what we do! A scarcity mindset keeps our options limited and our circle small. When we shift to an abundance mindset we are free to create and show up in the world without feeling like we are taking away space from anyone else. It stops imposter syndrome in its tracks and helps us find gratitude for our uniqueness. Then we can see clearly to the places where we can show up for other people and also rest in the moments where people show up for us. It produces calm and free flowing energy that radiates through our days.

  4. Allow yourself to be changed by others while setting boundaries for your healthy life. Evolving helps us see what information is helpful and what certain perspectives are meant to bring into our lives. Whether they are intelligence or counterintelligence, they show up for a reason. Sometimes they can even be a little bit of both. Understanding ourselves helps us not to feel so much conflict with what we don’t agree with or stubbornness if we feel the pull of being changed by another. We are here to learn and grow together, self awareness shows us where those connections exists and the confidence we gain by accepting ourselves completely allows us to set proper boundaries to create the life and connections that are meant for us.

  5. Have confidence in what you have to offer, but understand that people have to be in the right place on their path to receive it. This one is huge and has been a pain point in my life more than once. Evolving means creating space for ourselves and others to grow, but understanding that information is taken in at different times, when we are ready, and that we are not always meant to deliver the message. It shows us that we are all at different points on our paths and that sometimes those journeys are coming together and other times they are divergent. The beauty for us is to know that if we stay true to ourselves, connection will always teach something, even if it is the lesson of learning to let go.

These days, my mind and heart are set on finding maximum flow in my life, and in that regard, I’m feeling much better than I have been in the sand lately. Life is full of ebbs and flows, usually I’m telling you about how the court teaches us about life…but maybe this week the flow I’m feeling in life will learn to follow me back to the court. Evolve, find your flow, and pass the good work on to the next generation.  It’s the gift that will unite us. 

With love & optimism,

Wendy

Some more real lyrics for you this week…love the honesty and loyalty in his words

1 2 3 13
hello world!
About the author:
Wendy Jones is a mother of four, lifelong athlete, writer, and optimism & resilience coach and speaker. Through 20 years of parenting and relationship struggles, she believes that vulnerability and our willingness to share our stories is a way to heal ourselves

Related Posts:

The Healing House

There are a million reasons why people find it difficult to be themselves. Between codependency, people pleasing, FOMO, FOPO, traumatic experiences and relationships, getting to the essence of our being and feeling free enough to express ourselves is life’s greatest challenge and gift. Being that it’s almost the 4th of July and post that tragic […]
Read More

Is It Co-Parenting or Control?

Some days it seems there isn’t enough hot tea in the world for my life because learning to honor the slowdown and keep pace with adulting is so hard. My kettle is getting tired, but herbal tea is often my best solution for the chaos that comes through.  My life lets me live the precept:  […]
Read More

So He Left…Now What? Six Ways to Embrace Healing and Avoid Burnout Post Divorce

I wouldn’t have been able to write this eight years ago when he left. So much goes into rebuilding a life and it’s not linear. There have been many missteps and a lack of understanding of where I was at the time and why, but from the time it happened, I always had the question […]
Read More

What Is Generational Healing?

March 19, 2023 I don’t remember the exact date, but it was a Friday afternoon in 2014.  Clear blue skies, volleyball practice had been canceled for some reason I can’t remember, and our family was on the beach. There were four kids running around in the sand with nowhere else to be.  I remember thinking […]
Read More

One Generation Away

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.” - Ronald Reagan As a kid, 4th of July was my favorite holiday next to Christmas.   Staying in my bathing suit all day, feet burning on hot pavement, and popsicles and fireworks in the street are among my favorite childhood memories.  This holiday weekend […]
Read More

The Real Sisterhood

"What if the world was already good? What if what you seek, you find? What if everything wasn’t an emergency? What if we cared more about stories and less about labels? What if we stopped shouting so we could listen?" -Chrissy Kelly greatest mom, friend and writer Her words put a lump in my throat.  […]
Read More

How To Inspire BETTER

I saw Top Gun this week. It’s so weird to see the actors of my youth get older. Like so many of us, it took me back to 1986,  getting dropped off at the movie theater at least 3 different times to see it. Although I loved the story and cinematography, what struck me most […]
Read More

The Top 10 Things I Want my 17 Year old to Know.

Kate turned 17 on Thursday. For anyone who hasn't followed her story, she's the one who stopped playing volleyball to be a theatre kid. And man does she blow my mind on that stage. It's so fun to see her risk, I would have been terrified of that at her age. Maybe she is, but […]
Read More

Is Competing Actually Keeping You from Success?

As a writer, I am thankful that I have a good memory of my early life.  So many of my thoughts take me back to places and days from long ago.  When I am able to feel those feelings of the younger me, it gives me perspective for what I’ve learned and fills me with […]
Read More

My America

Our country is hurting. As much as I am an optimist who looks for the good and the growth in all things, you can’t have a week like this one and not feel like you have been kicked hard in the gut. When you attack anyone’s child, the horrific trauma of an unimaginable situation knocks […]
Read More

Alchemy Over Strategy

I usually don’t have the title of  a blog when I sit down to write, generally speaking it comes last.  But I have leaned into something new that has given me so much peace in the hardest moments of transition  that I knew it was time to write about it.  I’ve been working with Emily […]
Read More

Everyone Needs a Song

Hi.  I’m Wendy.  Even though I’ve written over 200 blogs, you don’t really know me.  I show you glimpses of me in my writing, if you have seen it.  But even though I write openly about my life, you don’t know everything; I suppose that’s how it should be.  I worry about exposing too much. But […]
Read More
1 2 3 18
crossmenu
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram