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The Hidden Meaning of Resistance

My new house is a little father away from the beach than I used to live.  For a kid from Fresno though, I still pinch myself that I get to see the water every time I drive down my street, and when the night gets quiet, I can hear the waves crashing, way down at […]
By
Wendy Jones
September 14, 2019

My new house is a little father away from the beach than I used to live.  For a kid from Fresno though, I still pinch myself that I get to see the water every time I drive down my street, and when the night gets quiet, I can hear the waves crashing, way down at the bottom of the hill. I watch the surfers carry their boards through my neighborhood and across Pacific Coast Highway up and down the hill, the young ones limber and light, some of the older ones wearing a knee brace, maybe a little slower as they make their way up the hill. My thought every time: 

It inspires me to see people make the effort for something that they love. They are embracing resistance.

The real test of our mettle is what we choose to do when things in our life are a less than ideal. I realize ideal is a relative term, it’s only 13 miles from Redondo Beach to Compton, but I write from my personal experience and seek out other perspectives to fill in the gaps…like the one in A Dream To Big: The Improbable Journey from Compton to Oxford by Caylin Moore (yes, this is my second mention of this great book). Just this week proofreading my own son’s college application, he made the connection between having to work for something and therefore appreciating it more. It’s a tough lesson to teach in an upper class world if we aren’t extremely conscious of our own privilege. Man, I hope he keeps adding this kind of wisdom to his tool kit for life. 

As I get a little further along on this journey, I realize that it’s easy to embrace things that are at our fingertips, to be a surfer living three houses off the beach, or a young athlete charging down the court with no aches or injuries. But it’s not until we have to answer the question:

“Is it worth the extra effort to embrace the resistance we encounter?” 

Do we realize what really brings meaning to our days?  Is the rehab worth it to make it back to the sport we claim to love, is the uphill walk with the board worth the thrill of the ride and the calm of the water? This is where we find our core values and what we are passionate about in life. The more we find meaning, the more gratitude we have for our lives. The cool thing about the surfer finding his passion is that he doesn’t carry his board up and down the hill to get my attention or admiration, he’s doing his thing for himself, not to inspire me…yet I get the benefit nonetheless. 

See what happens when we operate in our zone? We create a ripple effect of inspiration just by answering our calling. 

Time is a construct in everyone’s day, but the happiest people identify what is most beneficial for them, and make time for it, whether that means getting up a little earlier, staying up later, or choosing to give up something else, so that they can spend time doing or being with an activity or a person that brings value and meaning to their life. We have to take an honest inventory of our time to design our days in a way that brings us meaning and joy. Otherwise, life becomes a process where we are taking in so much from the outside, we are merely reacting to what comes at us, leaving us feeling overwhelmed, and not in control of our lives. I’ve read that we will encounter the most resistance on the path to our greatest destiny…the extra practice that leads to the starting position or a team championship, the difficult conversation that leads to a deeper and more meaningful relationship. Next time you encounter resistance, try reframing it as a path to the greater calling in your life and see if instead of feeling defeated, you find energy to dig deeper. 

Yoga has taught me that tension in life is normal, and that it’s in learning where to relax and surrender, and where to embrace resistance and hold, that we become the strongest and most authentic versions of ourselves. 

What do you need to surrender today?  What is asking for your extra effort?  Chances are by answering these questions you will move closer to alignment with your true self and when we do that, we find the energy to carry our boards a little further up the hill. 

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About the author:
Wendy Jones is a mother of four, lifelong athlete, writer, and optimism & resilience coach and speaker. Through 20 years of parenting and relationship struggles, she believes that vulnerability and our willingness to share our stories is a way to heal ourselves

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