I have two Instagram accounts, my personal one is called @faithinthejourney, I changed the name from something way more generic when my life shifted and it has become a family tag line…”oh watch out, you’re about to make faithinthejourney” one of my teenagers will joke. The truth is, those words mean a lot to me because my faith is what sustains me and fills me with the deepest sense of gratitude for all of the beauty in my life and always grounds me in the knowledge that things that happen are so much bigger and far reaching than my own experience. The other one, my “business account”, is @theoptimistsjournal. It’s intended to cast a bigger net into the blogosphere, definitely still the real me, but lacking on the more minute details of my life. It’s where my perspective meets the universal truth of this world and an outlet for my philosophical mind.
Today, a close friend of mine posed a question about The Optimists Journal, after I finished an interview that I can’t wait to post. I had the best time having this amazing conversation with Dene Logan Selkin, an absolutely golden yoga teacher and therapist. about relationships, being a mom, yoga…some of the best things in life. But back to the question my friend asked:
“What’s your goal [with The Optimists Journal] ” he asked.
As I pondered the answer to this, so many things ran through my mind; is it to spread a message, to help people, to make money, to have a voice and an outlet in this noisy world? There isn’t a right answer, but there is my answer.
What I have learned since I started this journey, is that it’s ok for answers to evolve as we grow and learn. There are so many human factors that fit into the equation of conceptualizing and achieving goals. For me, I want to tell stories and connect with people because I feel on such a deep level that it’s the reason I am here on this earth. I sense it in the moments of understanding I have with others everyday, especially when I take the time to slow down, ask questions and look people in the eye. But close behind are thoughts about self confidence, privacy, comparison, and freedom sift through my brain like those card shufflers in Vegas. I’ve done enough self reflection to realize where my hot button issues lie…and yet I also know that my issues aren’t much different than so many other people (back to that universal truth again) and so I move forward…some days with accents of my old trademark timidity. More often now, I move with growing confidence that I am here to hit a long ball, not achieve something overnight with one post, story or interview. But every word I write or conversation I get to have about knowing ourselves better so that we can be get the most out of our lives and be of service to others just raises my energy levels to higher heights.
My goal of creating more meaning in my life with each idea and endeavor and also a business are not at odds. It is going to take sustained confidence, discipline and patience though. The cool thing I know now, is that those qualities have been in growth mode for a long time, I just didn’t realize it.
As I push this passionate storytelling project that is The Optimists Journal down the road, I realize how lucky I am to be able to blend my passion for writing and connection with a beautiful and blessed life. On this journey, there have been some amazing takeaways that make me feel comfortable in my own skin in a way I never thought was possible. The feeling of connecting with your bravest, truest self, even just in glimpses, gives the greatest sense of freedom and discovery that I hope every human being gets to feel in their lifetime. It’s the concept of flow and knowing myself that I seek now on a daily basis, even as it draws tears, chills, struggles and then triumph. It presents it’s moments of truth that are challenging, but the rush of knowing that I get to spend each day of my life living this story, and that I get to write it with my own brand of optimism, hard work and discipline is more exhilarating than I ever thought possible. To press on towards my goal means I get to know myself honestly, to help others along the way and create a business doing what I enjoy. My brain is full, but it doesn’t feel like work. Maybe some learn this stuff at a much younger age (I do call myself a late bloomer) but in the end, I’m learning that even a day spent in this sweet spot is enlightening and once we feel it, it’s a pretty tough place to want to leave.
