It’s all connected. I’ve seen it time and time again in my story. One decision leads to another and I find myself creating circumstances that shape my reality everyday. I’ve learned to correct course so much quicker these days when I feel a decision making an undesirable impact, it goes with the work of soul searching and is one of the many great benefits. I know that how I do the small things is how I do the big things, and each choice, even the monotonous ones, have such an impact on both my daily and long term fulfillment and success.
The connections I feel between my mind, body and spirit serve me in such an amazing way and are filtered through my writing. I am a thinker, a doer and a feeler and I’m learning not to block or numb any of these roles so that they have their full effect on my life. Mentally, I am always building new philosophies that I use to frame my challenges in the most optimistic light. Physically, I have a tendency to go so hard that I break down from time to time, and although I could say age is catching up with me, anyone who has known me for most of my days knows that I’ve been a tad injury prone all along. Although I’m competitive to some extent, what I’m really after is the endorphin rush that comes with exercise and the clarity it brings to my mind. My clearest head and best connections come through sports and movement. A life long love for volleyball, the Masters swimming that taught me about the toughness that comes with oxygen deprivation after I had to switch from running to the water after the birth of my fourth child, and the patience and calm that I have learned from my yoga practice, which began to bring balance to my compensating body, not realizing that it would enlighten so much more, have connected my mind and body in such amazing ways and this connection allows my spirit to soar.
Tomorrow I go in to have a torn meniscus fixed on my right knee. It’s a bit scary to feel like your body is breaking down. It’s not the surgery that scares me (I’ve had plenty of them before) but the notion that the connections between the bad ankle from 20 years ago has made its impact on my knee. It’s that feeling that creeps in knowing that I’m experiencing “what they said would happen” after 40, because until it does, I think we all have a tendency to believe that it happens to everyone except us. I’m pretty sure that’s what I thought until about a year ago. The idea that I won’t be able to do what I love to do and get the endorphin rush I crave while I recover is daunting for a moment, but it’s time to give the body a rest and let my mind create and see where that silver lining leads.