fbpx
LoginSHOPshop

Pause

In the last week I’ve driven over 1,100 miles, much of it by myself, which gave me lots of time for podcasts and music, two of my favorite pastimes.  But for some of it, I turned off all the sounds and just gave myself time to think.  When I do this, I can feel my […]
By
Wendy Jones
January 1, 2022

In the last week I’ve driven over 1,100 miles, much of it by myself, which gave me lots of time for podcasts and music, two of my favorite pastimes.  But for some of it, I turned off all the sounds and just gave myself time to think.  When I do this, I can feel my body settle, my blood pressure lower, and my mind relax.  I find that I’m so curious about the world and what’s in it, I take in a lot, but it always requires time to integrate.  Music and lyrics, as they do for everyone if we let them in, brings up feelings and emotions that help us identify our own human experience.  It’s why I am slightly obsessed with the gifted songwriters out there. They have the ability to put the human experience on display in the most powerful ways in just a few minutes. 

The morning of December 28th, on what would have been my 25th wedding anniversary,  I woke up in San Luis Obispo. To be honest, it hadn’t occurred to me until I was pulling into SLO the night of the 27th and everything in me wanted to stop for the night instead of trying to make it home. Still, after everywhere I’ve traveled, it’s one of my favorite and most peaceful spots in the world.  After dropping Luke at Stanford, the girls getting themselves home to SoCal in a separate car, and Matthew staying a few more days in Fresno, a night of quiet on my own, after the holiday craziness was calling and I was happy to be able to take it. Healing takes a lot of pattern recognition and coming back to SLO reminds me of what I knew about myself 25 years ago that I allowed to get buried, trying to make other people comfortable or, as they say, putting on the oxygen masks for others before you secure your own first. But as I travel the path, and trust that the people around me are doing the best they can with what they know, I find little room in my heart for regret.  Of course the main reason for that is the four of them that have been the driving force of goodness in my life for 21 years.  But beyond that, to know that wisdom is pattern recognition and that without the gift of time and the ability to slow down and listen, I wouldn’t know what I do about myself, somehow it all makes sense, and I find peace. The only expectation I have is that I keep learning, and am brave enough to apply what I learn.  So I came up with some good areas of focus for myself for 2022 to take care of myself so that I can stoke the fire in me to bring  the stories that I am excited about that promote generational learning and healing to the world. Hopefully you may recognize where some of these apply in your own life;)

  1. Be kind, to ourselves first, so we can bring kindness to others.  Maybe we hear this a lot, and it goes in one ear and out the other because we think we are already doing enough.  Find another layer. Cut yourself some slack, stop the all or nothing thinking. In this space we can see the choices that we have in our lives. If there is one thing that I am convinced of from the stories that cross my coffee table every day, it’s that people fight battles within themselves and in the world that are greater than their Christmas cards will ever show.  Kindness that starts with ourselves creates space to have these healing conversations that are vital to our lives.  

  2. Trust Your Gut.  If we have been in situations where questioning our own sense of self or the reality that surrounded us was part of surviving, or maintaining some type of social equilibrium, we lose touch with what we know is true at our core - that each of us has a unique gift to bring to the world.  Sometimes it gets buried under layers of insecurity and hurt, but the truth is it’s always inside of us, and its voice never goes away.  I realize how long I have spent letting that voice stay quiet, and then slowly finding it’s way out, and the courage to do that has always come down to trusting my gut. 2022 is going to be spent writing and talking about ‘what I meant to say’. Every day is gift, and no, you have not missed your calling.

  3. Spend time in silence.  There is no greater pull on our intuition and  intelligence than modern day distraction.  In 2022, I want to grow my own mindfulness practice and help other people start or grow their own.  It’s not only the place where we get to separate our thoughts from our actions, it’s the place where we are able to connect to the Divine. And that’s where the healing and sense of calm resides.

  4. Sink in with my music, fiction, movies & animals.  This goes back to being kind to myself.  So often I have thought that these things are a waste of time, but when I look back on my most joyful moments of 2021, all four take a prominent and simple place in my joy. Rediscovering fiction was a highlight of 2021, when my back was hurt and it was the only thing that took my mind off of it.  Now I realize it’s novelty is an amazing gateway to my own creativity and flow. 

  5. Continue to learn.  This is the caveat to my above precept that people are doing the best they can with what they know.  We must continue to learn. When we do, our story progresses instead of repeats…not just for ourselves but for the generations that come after us.  And there is not a single thing in the world that motivates me more than that. 

  6. Promote conversations that heal.  I’m thankful for the science that backs up my storytelling ways.  From the neuroscience of flow and positive psychology, one of my favorite tools has been this VIA character assessment.  It’s a great place to start on the journey of self awareness. I’m thankful that forgiveness always comes out in my top five character traits because throughout our lives, we need to extend that virtue to ourselves and others over and over again.  And that’s ok, it’s part of the human experience. Silence doesn’t heal, the conversations need to be had, and forgiveness is always a healthy part of that process.  In 2022, I’m looking forward to taking this to the next level.  

Those green hills of San Luis Obispo reminded me that in this life, we don’t get do overs. But, if we keep our senses alive and hearts open, we have many opportunities everyday to do incredible things.  In so many ways, a new year is just another day to learn more and be a little bit better than we were the day before, but there is nothing wrong with a little rest and a holiday weekend to remind us of the greatness we are all capable of.  Some times you have to pause to pursue. Here’s to embracing the pause with all the kindness, love, and optimism we can muster and having the courage to say what we meant to say in this New Year. Can’t wait to show you what I have in store to do just that in 2022. 

With love & optimism, 

Wendy

WOW. SONGWRITERS DO IT AGAIN.

1 2 3 13
hello world!
About the author:
Wendy Jones is a mother of four, lifelong athlete, writer, and optimism & resilience coach and speaker. Through 20 years of parenting and relationship struggles, she believes that vulnerability and our willingness to share our stories is a way to heal ourselves

Related Posts:

What Is Generational Healing?

March 19, 2023 I don’t remember the exact date, but it was a Friday afternoon in 2014.  Clear blue skies, volleyball practice had been canceled for some reason I can’t remember, and our family was on the beach. There were four kids running around in the sand with nowhere else to be.  I remember thinking […]
Read More

One Generation Away

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.” - Ronald Reagan As a kid, 4th of July was my favorite holiday next to Christmas.   Staying in my bathing suit all day, feet burning on hot pavement, and popsicles and fireworks in the street are among my favorite childhood memories.  This holiday weekend […]
Read More

The Real Sisterhood

"What if the world was already good? What if what you seek, you find? What if everything wasn’t an emergency? What if we cared more about stories and less about labels? What if we stopped shouting so we could listen?" -Chrissy Kelly greatest mom, friend and writer Her words put a lump in my throat.  […]
Read More

How To Inspire BETTER

I saw Top Gun this week. It’s so weird to see the actors of my youth get older. Like so many of us, it took me back to 1986,  getting dropped off at the movie theater at least 3 different times to see it. Although I loved the story and cinematography, what struck me most […]
Read More

The Top 10 Things I Want my 17 Year old to Know.

Kate turned 17 on Thursday. For anyone who hasn't followed her story, she's the one who stopped playing volleyball to be a theatre kid. And man does she blow my mind on that stage. It's so fun to see her risk, I would have been terrified of that at her age. Maybe she is, but […]
Read More

Is Competing Actually Keeping You from Success?

As a writer, I am thankful that I have a good memory of my early life.  So many of my thoughts take me back to places and days from long ago.  When I am able to feel those feelings of the younger me, it gives me perspective for what I’ve learned and fills me with […]
Read More

My America

Our country is hurting. As much as I am an optimist who looks for the good and the growth in all things, you can’t have a week like this one and not feel like you have been kicked hard in the gut. When you attack anyone’s child, the horrific trauma of an unimaginable situation knocks […]
Read More

Alchemy Over Strategy

I usually don’t have the title of  a blog when I sit down to write, generally speaking it comes last.  But I have leaned into something new that has given me so much peace in the hardest moments of transition  that I knew it was time to write about it.  I’ve been working with Emily […]
Read More

Everyone Needs a Song

Hi.  I’m Wendy.  Even though I’ve written over 200 blogs, you don’t really know me.  I show you glimpses of me in my writing, if you have seen it.  But even though I write openly about my life, you don’t know everything; I suppose that’s how it should be.  I worry about exposing too much. But […]
Read More

Circa 1994

I had the chance to revisit my 19 year old mind this week with a reconnection that happened because of this crazy social media world. I have journals, but the chance  to look back on a letter I wrote to someone else about life in that season, my sophomore year of college, was even more […]
Read More

What Makes A Great Athlete?

Every athlete I know, including myself, has always wanted to BE BETTER.  My mission and this concept can sound a little brash to some but it’s not meant to be harsh, or make anyone feel like they aren’t measuring up. The goal is to put the emphasis on BE (instead of do) so that we […]
Read More

New Beginnings

People care, or they are curious, or both:) When people ask me what happened to my ankle, I tell them I had ankle surgery. “Wendy, you need to start saying I had an ankle reconstruction.” said my amazing PT.  “I did?” I said.  Well, suddenly it made a lot of sense. Both because of the […]
Read More
1 2 3 18
crossmenu
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram